If you’re feeling a little passionless in your marriage, don’t worry – you’re not alone. Many marriages, over time, suffer from the routine of life. As we go on, we often forget to nurture our relationships, and we let them become less important than they once were. We may drift apart from our spouses because there were too many other things on our mind. We may simply lose that “spark” that once kept things exciting. If you’re feeling a lack of spark in your marriage, all hope is not lost. It only takes some conscious effort to get it back – effort from both of you. Here are some tips to help you rekindle the spark in your marriage.
Make It a Joint Effort
It won’t be easy to rekindle the spark in your marriage if you’re the only one trying. You need the help of your spouse. Start by just letting him know that you’re going to make an effort to reignite the spark. Let him know that it’s important to you, and hopefully he should be on board for trying, too.
Go On a Date
With children and busy work schedules, it can be hard to make time to spend together. Clear your schedules and go on an old-fashioned date, like dinner and a movie. Or, do something you used to love doing together when you were dating. While on your date, really try to relax and be in the moment and focus on your spouse. Have a good conversation. Talk about how you fell in love. Try your best to connect with each other and see your spouse as the individual you fell in love with.
Make a List
It’s a simple idea, but making a list of reasons why you love your spouse can really help you gain some perspective. Ask your spouse to make a list, too, and then read them to each other. It’s important to take the time to recognize all the things you appreciate about your spouse and may take for granted. Writing down the reasons and sharing them will help you gain perspective.
Touching is a great way to ignite a spark, and it’s important to have physical contact with your spouse. Besides making time for more intimacy through sex, try to just touch each other more often. Share a lingering kiss in the morning. Hold hands whenever possible. Rub your spouse’s back or rake your fingers through his hair. Give each other a long hug. Touch will help you feel closer to each other.
Take a Vacation
If it’s possible, go on a vacation with your spouse. Take a trip to somewhere you’ll both enjoy, and try to relax and get away from the stress of life. Don’t bring the kids. Do fun activities together, or just lounge around in your hotel room. Just try to have a good time together and forget about your worries.
Find a Hobby
If you can find a hobby to share, it’s a great step toward becoming closer to your spouse. Sharing an experience that you both enjoy is a great way to rekindle the spark. If you join a class, for example, you’ll also be incorporating some alone time into your weekly schedule. It will give you something in common.
Starting next Saturday, look for our new weekly feature…the Saturday Spark Weekly Challenge. Each week will feature a challenge for you and your spouse designed to bring you closer and keep the spark alive!