Once upon a time you were wooed, catered to and swept off your feet by someone who turned into your spouse. The same spouse who was devoted and listened to your every care, until recently you realized things aren’t quite the same. In fact, there’s something that has come between the two of you and that something has four legs and a wagging tail. Could your dog be ruining your marriage?
It sounds terrible to say, but man’s best friend could become a marriage’s worst nightmare if the two of you aren’t on the same page when it comes to Fido. If you’re not at a splitting point but feel an awkwardness looming between you and your spouse and know that your dog is a sore subject, take a look at why that may be.
Quality Time
There’s snuggle time while watching TV, long walks and cuddling at night that should keep you two close together, except if you’re doing it all with a dog in-between the two of you. If you find you are spending more quality time with Fido than your spouse – this could be a big problem, especially if intimacy has dwindled between you and your spouse, or you find that you’re never truly alone during intimate moments you may want to re-evaluate your priorities on who you really want to spend time with.
Reckless Behavior
Maybe it’s your dog that is behaving badly that is causing the rift. Tearing up furniture and causing a ruckus inside can wear on your nerves, or if your dog is a digger; digging up the once beautiful landscape or even escaping for an afternoon rendezvous throughout the neighborhood. If the spouse who isn’t completely sold on the dog is always cleaning up the mess made, you can be sure there will be some pent-up frustration.
If the major issue is merely a training issue, get your pup the help he needs before you’re stuck by yourself. There are plenty of dog obedience schools available to teach Fido the manners he needs to live peacefully inside and out. If money’s tight, check out a dog training app or check out a book from your local library. If your dog is a constant runaway, you may want to look into safety measures that will actually keep him in your yard; an invisible fence is a great option.
However, if the issue lies with how much time you spend with Fido over your spouse, start refocusing your attention with a healthy balance between Fido and your spouse. For starters, give Fido somewhere to sleep other than the bed you share with your spouse. If you find yourself still yearning to spend more quality time with your dog instead of your spouse, you may have underlying issues with your spouse that aren’t related to the dog at all. You may want to enlist the help of a certified relationship counselor to figure out what those issues may be and if the relationship is worth saving.
Is your dog coming between you and your spouse? How are you going to handle it? Share in the comments below.
Fed up says
We have 4 small dogs in our house. To be honest, I gave one of them to my husband as a gift after his previous dog passed. The other 3 are the result of an irresponsible child who lives nearby and wouldn’t get his female dog spayed. She had 7 puppies. We gave 2 away to family members. 1 was hit by a car and one was injured somehow (snakebite maybe) and was dead when we found him. That left us with the remaining 3. Because the 2 passed, my husband is very protective of the other 3 and against my wishes brought them inside. I don’t hate dogs but I don’t consider myself a “dog person”. He lets them like him in the face and doesn’t mind if all 4 are laying on him all the time. He sleeps on the couch every night with them instead of in the bed with me because I don’t want them in the bed. It’s the dirt and the dog hair that bother me not to mention I think it’s weird to have them in the bedroom if things get intimate. It doesn’t help that I work away from home during the week and am only home on weekends. My idea of a compromise would be that during the week when I’m not there, he can sleep with the dogs just not in our bed. When I’m home I expect him to sleep with me without them. His idea of a compromise is that I allow 2 of the 4 to sleep with us in the bed. I don’t think we can get past this.
Desperate Lee says
My husband only had a cat when we got together. I sort of condoned getting more animals. now we have 2 huge dogs, one is only 1 yrs old nd the other 3, and a cat.. I am unhappy with them. They stress me out, and I/We have sacrificed A LOT to keep these animals for him. I am currently 6 months pregnant and we live in a small 1 bedroom apartment that doesnt even allow pets, so we are sneaking them around, which just means now they take up even more of our time and attention.. we can barely afford a place to live between his truck payments, rent, electricity, phones, and gas and groceries…. but he says it will break his heart and he will NEVER get rid of the dogs.. What do I do? i love my husband but hate all of these animals in my life. We cant afford it or be able to live the life we dream of… weve been married for 1 yr and together for 2.5 years….. im 23 and he’s bout to be 25. he’s been married before and that whole mess left him in a terrible place.. he has come a long way.. but what about my happiness as well?
Desperate says
My husband and I have been married for 4 years and together for over 7 years now. I came into the relationship with a miniature schnauzer. The dog is clearly MY dog as my husband has never really had any interest in him and has pretty much just ignored the dog. Several years ago, we discovered that our dog is diabetic. unfortunately the time we got his blood sugar levels under control, he (the dog) was blind as a result of the diabetes. After we got his blood sugar under control, life continued as normal (with the exception that our dog was now blind and the fact the I have to give him insulin shots twice a day.) The dog is now 15 years old. As you know, dogs are much like people in that as they age, sometimes incontinence can become a problem. My husband and I both work jobs that do not allow for us to come home during the workday to let him out to use the restroom. As a result, many days, we come home to accidents on the floor. Last year, my husband started insisting that I “put him down” because he is “ruining the floors”. Despite the fact that the main living areas in our home are not carpet, I bought a carpet shampooer to help remedy the situation. But that’s not enough. My husband still gets furious and starts yelling at me or gives me the silent treatment any time he sees where the dog has had an accident (like if he gets home before I do from work). It has reached the point that the kids are trying to clean up the messes behind my husband’s back to keep him from euthanizing the dog or getting mad at me. Yes, our dog is old…yes, our dog is diabetic and blind…yes, our dog has incontinence issues…but does that mean I should agree to have him euthanized? This dog has been with me through some really tough times before my husband and I met. Of course, he (my dog) means a lot to me. (Obviously, so does my husband.) My dog seems happy and even tries to still play sometimes (despite the fact that he is 15 years old and blind). He is not in any pain. I believe that he should go when nature says it is time for him to go. My husband says that I am being cruel by keeping him alive. Please help!
Desperate says
After reading my original comment above, I thought it should be clarified that I bought the carpet shampooer for the bedrooms (which do have carpet) and I mop our floors with bleach water when our dog has an accident on the tile or on the “engineered” (aka artificial) wooden floors.
Kelsey says
I have a two year old German Shepherd that I got with my ex boyfriend, she currently lives at home with my parents because my new boyfriend has a cat. However we just bought a home (he did) and we found a perfect space in the garage that used to be a workshop we’re turning into a dog home for her, but I’m still having doubts of it working out and it’s tearing me apart. I shouldn’t have to choose between my dog and my boyfriend, yet I see this becoming a problem. He isn’t a dog person, and well secretly I’m not a cat person but I accepted his cat and learned to love her. I just don’t see him coming around to the dog, he’s complaining already and she’s not even here yet. Some people just aren’t dog people, and he’s definitely one of them. He complains the dog will take away from our freedom, which I admit is a little upsetting to me too. But she’s my baby and I can’t imagine giving her up for adoption, I made a vow to her to give her the best life I could when I wanted her and I can’t just give up on her because I want a rich lifestyle with my new boyfriend.
Now I’m stuck between trying to make it work and knowing it won’t, or moving back home and losing the life I always wanted with my dream guy. Why can’t life just be simple? I know I can’t give my dog up, but it breaks my heart having to give up the one guy I KNOW I love. He’s the second guy I’ve ever been with sexually, technically the first since my ex was a virgin as well and what we did didn’t really work as planned. My current boyfriend was the first guy to successfully penetrate me, this may be a little to much information but I need you to understand how attached I am to him as well, I can’t imagine being with anyone else or the thought of him with someone new. It’s killing me! Yet I know I can’t leave my dog just because of this, what do I do?
Pintto says
My wife has a very large dog, she’s five, i knew she had a dog before we got married, thinking it won’t be much problem, i’m not a dog lover at all but i do love my wife, but right now we are falling apart, even i left all friends and family to move to her in a different counry, we both are working night shift, and coming home the next morning, all the house is mess,pee,poop,saliva every where, you can even feel the smelling of the dog when she comes across you, the house smelling very bad, and i’m not use to this kind of life, i can’t even get sleep when i get home in the next morning because of the dog, we kept arguing up till now, to the extend when i speak about it now she just shut me up, i suggested to train her more and make her to get use sleeping in her bed in other room, but she never want to talk about it, after working all night ,i supposed to be coming home happy, but no,i came home sad, and she forgot we both are paying the bills.i dont’ know what else to do, and i don’t want to hurt my wife because we both went through a lot for our marriage.what do i do about this? because i can’t anymore, this is killing me.
Sarita Parker says
As to my previous post, the dog is not a puppy. He is four years old.
Sarita Parker says
I’ve read the comments and there are many similarities with my issues with “our” dog. Both my husband and I were widowed.
We got the dog, a Pom/Poodle mix, when we were dating about four months before we married. The dog lived with.my fiance and became very attached to the dog. He’d bring him every time he came over and the dog seemed fine. However, after marrying, it became apparent that the DOG was in charge.
My husband won’t make him mind, insists on feeding human food, and encourages the dog to sit in his lap or beside him all the time. He sweet talks and cuddles with the dog all the time. Not me anymore! Even at our age, romantically speaking, the dog is always watching!! I think my husband resents me because I complain about the dog even thigh he says that’s not true.
He doesn’t mind me except to get in his bed, will not come when called even to eat (and not usually for my husband either) and if it’s dog food, will sniff it, and walk away. We even put cheese on it ir broth or a sauce. That doesn’t help often.
That’s bad enough, but the dog has bitten me eight times, which has drawn blood, already and I’ve threatened to kill that dog if he did it again-which I would NEVER do. One bite took three weeks to heal. I am JUST ANGRY when I say that. My husband says “my tone of voice is shrill and the dog doesn’t like it!” I don’t “yell”, but it is louder, from frustration as the dog won’t listen! Too bad!! He’s only bitten my husband once. If you let the dug do whatever he wants, he’s fine. That includes pooping and peeing if he “won’t go outside”. He’s ruined several rugs. I’ve learned how to pick him up to TAKE him out so he can’t reach me to bite but he always growls at me.
He also ignores me affection-wise unless my husband is gone or out of room for a while. Then, when he returns, he immediately scrambles to him.
I can’t live like this even though I love my husband dearly. My nerves are shot. I’ve had many dogs in my life, I am 71, and was never bitten, ate what they were fed, and the dogs minded.
My husband keeps saying “he’ll just give the dog away” but hasn’t attempted to do so. I’ve told him I wouldn’t make him do that. Stalemate there.
My husband is the kindest and sweetest man ever but I’m at my wits end and do not know how to handle this. HELP ME, PLEASE!
Jz says
I’ve given up on my wife, competing with the ten pets that take up all our time. I hoover clean and help a huge amount, bit have become disgusted with our home smelling like a dirty vets waiting room. Three of our animals are ponies, so yes they need a huge amount of time but 5 cats (indoor)and two dogs, have meant no time for us. I’ve moved into the spare bedroom as i got fed up of the two dogs which my wife moved into the bedroom were peeing on the floor ruining it. It has torn a devoted husband totally against his wifes need for alternative to kids away from her. I’ve been left feeling suicidal until i made the decision to move into the spare bedroom. Our marraige is on its last legs due to the animal army. No one visits us and my best friend finally confessed to me that his wife felt sick the last time she came after seeing the dog poop on the floor.
GI says
FYI: I am about to do a lot of venting. I’m not a big fan of dogs, sorry if that offends anyone, but I also have the right to what I feel about them. I grew up understanding that they stay outside the house for security and hygiene purposes. However, my husband was brought up with a mom that treated dogs almost better than humans, but his dad felt the same way I feel about dogs.
When we were dating, we both knew we like dogs, but I didn’t know how much he loves them until he decided to surprise me after a stressful day at work. Quiet frankly, it was the worst surprise of my life because I knew it would be a lot of responsibility (basically, I felt that he was forcing me to be a mother when I wasn’t ready for one), especially when he works long hours and I will be stuck with waking up earlier than my normal to clean, walk, and play with the dog, when I would rather take longer sleep, clean my house on a regular routine (not when a dog makes a mess). The most frustrating part is that they would never be able to pick up after themselves, I have to make my schedule around the dog, and spend lot more hours training more than a real human being. If I knew this about him before we got married, I know I would have ended it on our first date…I don’t waste my time at all. But, I guess it was meant to be. I’m OCD when it comes to cleanliness; one time we were having sex and I saw the dog’s two-tone (brown-balck) colored hair in my (you know where), I lost it. Then another time, I saw hair in my cup of coffee, refrigerator, couch, clothes, it got everywhere. I had had it.
So, what did I do to manage my hygiene and some sanity? I told him, that he can keep the dog as long as he builds a fence so she doesn’t run away (Oh! I didn’t mention, the dog likes to run to all our neighbors houses who have complained about how spoilt the dog is and needs more structure, but my husband won’t have it…he states that they are jealous and haters, anyway back to my point), and a barn house for the dog to live in. That way, I have a cleaner house, less monitoring of the dog, which is time consuming, and the dog can learn to be independent to play by herself with her toys.
I really did like this dog who’s a big 10 month’s old german sherpherd and wouldn’t jump into the car unless she’s carried, but my husband’s treatment of her makes me more distant to her. He remembers all her appointments, plays with her regardless of how tired he is, but he barely remembers my Dr’s appointments, and counter argues that he spends time with me by having sex with me and watching TV in bed while he sleeps off, we don’t go running, cooking, or dates alone anymore because he says “he’s tired and the poor animal is lonely” and needs to be played with. Even the dog trainer recommends being more firm with the dog and has suggested that my husband needs to be trained first before we can succeed with training the dog.
Anyway, right now, since we don’t have a fence or barn house yet, the dog has been staying in my garage and in my husband’s office in the basement.
Whew! I feel better
andy says
my wife wanted to get a dog. we already have 2 cats, I love the cats and I have tried to love the dog too, but i think it has made everything thing worse. My wife has fallen in love with it and makes excuses for any negative behaviours of the dog. I don’t like it on the bed, but she still lets it get on the bed. Sex life? what sex life…call me crazy, but I’m not into threesomes. I can’t tell her that I don’t like the dog and I’m scared that if I do, she’ll pick the dog over me.
KyleGo says
My spouse and I are both dog lovers. We got a male lab, who spent equal time with both of us. Then we got a female lab. Despite treating them equal, the female lab totally bonded with my partner and the male lab completely bonded with the female. The female spends all her time with my partner. The male, when he’s not off by himself, spends all his time with the female. They both ignore me. The male won’t even come to me for a treats. They don’t relate to me at all. They’ll hang around to be petted or a butt rub, but as soon as I stop petting them, they leave. I feel like I’m living with someone else’s dogs. We had dogs before and never had issues. And my partner is not open to rehoming the dogs – to put it politely. We’ve been together for over 40 years, with 6 dogs . It seems like my partner is going to have to choose between me or the dogs. And I’m not sure he’ll choose me
Monika says
My issue is that our one year old dog will not allow for us to sit on the same sofa anymore. We have tried but he won’t leave us alone until we just give up and go our separate ways in the living room. Here lately even gets upset if I want to lay down on my side of the bed. I have actually slept in the guest room because of it. I’m just ready to throw the towel and actually have considered leaving. I want to have my husbands attention but the dog won’t even let us talk to each other without barking loud and snapping at us. I’m starting to dislike him too (the dog)
GI says
Bless your heart! I think that I would have told my husband my observation, and ask him what he recommends we do to keep our marriage. If he doesn’t see anything wrong with the marriage after what I read, then, move to one of the rooms in your house and live like roommates, whereby, if at some point he wants food, or a clean house, or sex, or someone to talk to, well, he has to start the whole dating process again. That means, taking you out alone, watching movies on the couch together alone, etc.
If your husband is anything frugal like mine, first he will try to work it out before it gets to that point where we agree partially to my terms such as, the dog stays in the garage and not in the house. But, since my husband is too frugal to start the dating process again, and it will cost him more to start it with another person, he would make a deal grudgingly, but get over it with time.
Good luck
Lisa says
After a year and a half living together my boyfriend has grown to hate my dogs. Now I’m kicked out with two fur kids nowhere to go, low on funds. I rescued my fur kids now I need to be rescued. He knew I had dogs before I agreed to move in with him. I keep a clean house,clean dogs. But this isn’t good enough. I’m stressed and scared.
Canel One says
Find a home for them and move on. If you can’t afford to have dogs or take care of them, find someone who will and stop expecting others to put up with the responsibility you opted for.
GI says
Dear Lisa, I understand, but, please be realistic. Dogs are technically kids for life. If you can’t
take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of a kid (in your case, two kids).
Act responsibly, not emotionally.
Goodluck
Lauren says
Lol!!My husband is currently divorcing me due to the fact that I “replaced” him with our darling dachshund Sage. At least Sage’s love for me is unconditional……
Heather says
So two weeks ago my husband surprised me with a puppy even after we had several conversations about me not wanting a dog. I work 60 hours a week and am tired. I don’t have time for a puppy. My husband promised he would do all the work & take care of the dog. Of course that’s unrealistic & I have been helping too. However we fight about it daily! He gets upset because he feels I’m not helping enough and when I remind him of our conversations and him saying he would do it all, he gets even angrier. I’m exhausted and just want to sleep past 6:30 am on my weekends off. The dog sleeps with us, and we never cuddle and have rarely been intimate since getting the dog. We’ve been married 8 months and this dog is ruining my marriage. I’m on vacation this week so I’m home dealing with the dog all day. We argued last night about the dog & now my husband is really angry & won’t talk to me. He left this morning and didn’t even kiss me goodbye like he does every morning. He will be gone with a friend all day & guess who gets to take care of the puppy. I’m so hurt that he won’t validate and understand my feelings. I feel like he is choosing the dog over me. Help!!!
GI says
Bless your heart! Sweetheart, when you’re on vacation, the last things you do is stay at home when you already know the kind of dog and husband that you have. What you do is, book a vacation in Mexico, or your friend’s place, or even your mom’s place…who cares where, as long as it not at home. Then you tell your husband in the sweetest tone ever, after all arrangement is final about your plans for vacation. And if he gets angry, you look so innocent and tell him, that you’d make it up to him and all the bul***t, but at least, you’d gain two things from here:
1. You’d have a real vacation from stress.
2. He would be forced to cater for the dog alone and understand how it feels.
On the other hand, things may go south, which would go south anyway, since he’s already having an issue understanding you.
Goodluck
imtired says
My husband and I have been together for 2yrs. We have both been in bad marriages where there was no communication. We as a couple said in the beginning that we would never have animals in the house, I was in total agreement. 1Yr after being together my daughter brought over a dog to our house that we were renting and pee pee on the floor. My husband went crazy and said “This is why we are not having dogs in our house”. 1Yr later we bought an older house and spent lots of money on new flooring, paint etc. His youngest son starts in on wanting a dog, now I remind you that we had agreed as a couple that we would never have dogs in the house, well even when I told him that we would be the ones taking care of the dog not your son, he said “If he doesn’t take care of the dog like we dicussed then the dog is gone”. These were the rules: The dog was not going to be allowed on our new furniture, my husband was the 1st to put him on the furniture. He said not to feed him human food, he was the 1st to give him human food, etc. You see where this is going. Well we have had the dog for 4 months and the son doesn’t take care of him at all. My husband does all of it, sometimes me. I blow up when the dog pees and poops on our new floors, and all my husband says is he is just a puppy. When he comes home from work and I’m in there cooking over a hot stove for him, the dog gets the kisses and hugs before I do anymore. After supper we use to cuddle on the couch together, now the dog is on the couch right beside him and I’m stuck over to the side like I’m not there watching him pet all over him and talking to him like he is a human, and sometimes he gets in the floor and plays for 45 min or longer with him. When it comes to bed time, the dog usually sleeps with the son, but when he is not there My husband insists on the dog sleeping with us, well not us him. He puts the dog on his side of the bed and sleeps in the middle next to me, awww is what your thinking, NO, he rolls over with his back to me and cuddles and kisses the dog till he goes to sleep. I have talked to him and cried to him and he tells me that I’m crazy for acting like this. Me and my husband use to be all over each other all the time till the day the puppy came home, and it all stopped. I even remind him of what he told his son about that if he doesn’t take care of the dog, the dog is gone. Well I mentioned that and he gives excuses and basically tells me that the dog isn’t going anywhere now. Please help. I’m about ready to tell my husband to choose.
GI says
Oh dear! same dilemma here couple of moths ago! What I did to redeem my marriage and myself:
1. I pray for wisdom to handle the situation and for your husband’s priority to be you
2. I stopped cleaning the house, it was so disgusting and stunk to the extent that my husband asked me why, and in the most innocent voice, I told him that it must be the excess dog hair, which I couldn’t help since he allowed the dog in the house
3. I told him no dog in the room let alone bed if you want to see me naked, let alone sex (now bear in mind if he insisted on having the dog in the room or bed, then my next course of action will be to get the loudest vibrator and dildo ever, to make myself orgasm in front of him – that would drive him nuts, but hey, he can’t complain since he insist on cuddling with the dog, I have the right to insist on what I want too)
Goodluck
Kim says
My now ex-fiancé, used to ignore me when I would complain about the dog. He offered no help in taking care of the dog. He would just yell at me for getting stressed out about the dog. Well shortly after that I began having an affair… see whenever I’d come to my fiancé over an issue With the dog, he would slug off my problems and worries and make me feel like I was overreacting and being crazy. Ps, I also have OCD, anxiety and am allergic to dogs. Anyhow.. I began to vent to a male coworker about my problems, who was always supportive and understanding when it came to the issues about the dog. Now fast forward years later, me and the ex-fiancé are still together, the dog is still in the picture despite the same issues, and more ever present. Now, I feel like I have no choice but to move out. The bf and I worked out all trust issues and whatnot, but the main factor in causing me to be unfaithful is still present aka the dog. My bf has said to me before that thE reason he doesn’t want to give up the dog is because when He thinks I’ll leave he won’t be alone. FYI, main causes of fighting about dog is dog hair, dog stench, dogs health or lack there of, which bf does not take accountability for. I feel like the dog needs a better owner. And quite frankly like my bf is a horrible dog owner. Thinking he needs nothing more than to be alive basically. No walks, vet visits, oral hygiene, grooming, bathing etc.., these are the things me and me alone have been struggling with.
Shaz says
I’m coming second to a dog n feel like my hubby Love’s the dog more than me . if I’m sick it to bad for me but if there is something up with the dog well that different . what should I do leave my hubby because it makes me unhappy
I just don’t know
🙁
Matt says
So I just got married a few months ago. I have 2 dogs one is 12 and the other is 2 years. They have basically been my kids through there lives. My wife is allergic to the dogs and once we got married we had an aggreement that they would be outside and have a room in the garage. I kept my end of the bargain but they are dogs are use to being inside with me all the time. So if they have a chance to sneak in they do. There has also been a lot of change with moving into a rental and then into another home in the last few months. Now every time I walk them or they bark at night my wife gets irate with me because they are not quit or because I have to spend time taking care of them. It has now gotten to the point that she has demanded that I get rid of the dogs or she is leaving. I have taken them to my parents to give us some breathing room but the more I have to live with this and without the dogs the more I resent her for this. I can’t event speak of the dogs or my feeling for them with out her getting pissed off. I have no idea what to do this has been a very difficult subject to deal with and I don’t want to resent her for this.
Nicky says
My husband adopted a dog even though I begged him not to, it’s got major issues and pees everywhere, stinks, is jealous of me, gets on sofa and bed as soon as I get up, and will not listen to me at all, I have no love for the poor animal, I feel sorry for it but it should have a home where it is wanted by both people I’ve had 6 months of hell and I’m ready to split up over this!
GIN says
He is wrong , there should not be a pet brought home , if not agreed upon first by both parties..
Annie says
Help! My husbands dogs are so much in love with me. I love them too but am not into the getting licked all day mood. I feel like they have their mouth in filthy things outside when we walk them. They kiss my husband in the mouth and lick him all over his face in the morning which means I can’t kiss him st that point . They sleep in our bed and get in between us by midnight.i always tell him to put them in their beds but he never listens , he says they are very clean. Sometimes they pee in the bed. My marriage is 2 months old. It’s stressing me out a bit with the dogs. There’s always fur in my food too and he never separates their dishes from ours.
donald says
I need a woman’s take on a dog issue.
My wife and I are recently married and the only big issue is that my wife can’t understand why I don’t want to have her 90 pound pit bull terrier sleeping on our bed at night. The dog already has the run of the house but I don’t sleep well with this huge dog on the bed. We agreed that the dog won’t be in bed with us but she keeps dropping hints that she misses the dog in bed.
I really don’t think that my position is unreasonable. How do I convince my wife that my request is not unreasonable?
Thank you.
Collette50 says
Two of our sons have a love and compassion for dogs that is touching. One of our dogs was rescued by one of our sons from under his car shivering and abused. The other dog is a rambunctious Mac truck that bounded into our home dragging our other son’s friend behind him. No requests, “Dad, Mom, may I keep her?” She has remained ever since. Both have endearing qualities but have taken over our home. Shoes have been chewed and pooped on. The big dog UNtrained the first dog. Our basement is a huge bathroom to them. I have to dodge Pee and poop piles to do my laundry. It’s an embarrassment, and health hazard to our new infant grandson. My husband is too passive to lay down the law to our adult sons. I am hanging on to my marriage by a thread.
The possible solution, (and my final ultimatum), is for our sons to find a winter kennel where they can visit them and a comfortable dog house in the Summer because they can no longer live inside my home.
It’s me or the dogs. I pick the dogs.
Annie says
I have a dog that my husband and I rescued, he was 5 months old at the time. He definitely has some issues and we noticed food aggression right away, we contacted a dog behavioralist and many things that we learned worked. Our dog is now a year, and he is my dog. He is my dog because he annoys my husband. So I do everything for/with him, even taking him outside to go to the bathroom, every time, so that my husband is not bothered. I feel that our dog is a fairly normal one year old, he is part collie so he has a tendency to herd at your feet, he is playful, he is a moose (70 lbs)! He does not bark a lot, and he sleeps in his crate all night wonderfully. I feel as though my husband is not concentrating on the dogs good points, but only the bad. We are always arguing about the dog, because he is always yelling. He says that I baby him, and I say that he is mean to him. I feel like this is ruining our marriage. I need suggestions!
Stacey Werner says
Communication. The two of you need to sit down and discuss this (preferably not right after the dog does something wrong). Maybe instead of saying what you like and what he doesn’t like about the dog, you could do the opposite. Have him say one thing that is good about the dog and why he likes it. You can then say one thing that may not be good about the dog. You could then discuss ways to deal with the things you both don’t like. This way, you get him to start thinking about what he likes about having the dog around. It also gets you thinking about why it may be bothersome.
Work together to come up with ways to get past the bad and play up the good qualities. Also, you could try to get him involved in any activities he might enjoy with the dog. Maybe he would like to take walks with you, and you bring the dog along. Just concentrate on talking about your days and each other, and try not to concentrate on the dog.
I hope this helps in some way.
eric chace says
hi.thanks for this article.just last night my gf and i had a talk about the dogs sleeping in the bed. she has two small dogs that i love.she loves having the dogs sleep in the bed.while i don’t totally mind it, it does get on my nerves and at times i get angry.I feel I should be able to tell the dogs to get off the bed so i can sleep in peace without them being right on top of me.She feels they are used to it and it will make them sad, also she does nt mind them sleeping near her. i finally talked her into keeping them out when we have sex.it took some convincing but she understood how i felt about the dogs being way too close while we re trying to be with each other. we had to train one of them to stop scratching at the door when we locked them out and that was a little frustrating, but with time and persistence , it worked. sounds good but here’s the problem.i still don’t like them sleeping with us all the time.i dont mind them being in the bed once in a while, or even sleeping in it some nights, but its ALL the time. i decide to ask her again if she’s willing to train them to sleep outside of the bedroom. not every night but just once in a while. in other words train them to not sleep in the bedroom but allow them to sleep with us once in a while so they dont freak out on the nights we don’t sleep with them.(cuz they do whine and scratch).I would be perfectly content with this. So I tell her how I feel and i know that she wants them to sleep in the bed. I can tell she’s willing to appease me, or show me respect in how i feel, i can tell she’s willing to do it but i know it makes her sad.This bothers me and i cant force her, nor do i judge her for how she feels. She had these dogs before me and i see them kind of like my step children in that if she loves them i do as well . and i do.When we fell asleep last night, after i told her how i felt, i could tell she was upset.i could tell she was willing to meet my concern and request but i felt like her emotions were strong and i wanted to be respectful and gentle towards them. At the same time, please understand, sleeping near the dogs every freaking night sucks. I feel that my space is being invaded against my will. I feel i have no say in whether or not a dogs asshole is a mere 8 inches from my face, sometimes less. i m torn between honoring and respecting my own feelings and hers. she is an amazing spouse but how do i decide whether or not to go with her reluctant agreement to appease and honor me or putting my dog issues aside and allowing her to sleep with the dogs to her hearts content?thanks for the article, thanks for any input.
Stacey Werner says
I had my dog before I met my husband, and we had some issues to deal with as well, so I feel your pain. Can the dogs sleep in the room, just not on the bed? Maybe you could suggest that you both shop for some REALLY comfy dog beds to place on the floor by the bed. The money will be well spent if you can train them to sleep there.
Also, my husband and I have our dog up on the bed before we go to sleep. She hangs out while we read or watch TV. Then I tell her it is time to go to bed and she gets down to sleep in her bed next to ours.
Both of these suggestions may help your gf with the transition. She can still feel close to them just not physically close while you sleep or have sex.
It is great that she seems to really care how you feel. That is the most important thing. If you can come up with a compromise, I am sure she will be happy to do it. Let us know how it goes.
eric chace says
these are really good ideas.i will try that.we’ve been training them to sleep outside the room and it has miraculously worked.i still deal with one of them scratching the door but he’s gotten better. i love the dog bed idea i think that s great.thank you and i’ll keep you posted. as for how she deals with the dogs sleeping outside, there are nights when it bothers her, and i’ll let the dogs come in just because i know she likes it.having the option to keep them out feels very good to me, so we have found peace in compromise or rather understanding each others feelings and being patient.thanks again.
eric chace says
we ve been trying the dog beds.it’s been really great, just wanna say thanks for the idea, it’s been working good.they jump up on the bed sometimes but im amazed how well they are taking to training. as far as the whole thing goes, my gf is still kinda warming up to it. but they ve taken to it well.truthfully she is still sad about them not sleeping in the bed but she has been good about it and im trying to rightfully compromise. we’ll probably try your other idea of letting them hang out on the bed until sleep time.your ideas have really helped us, thanks so much.
Stacey Werner says
Thanks for letting me know how it is going, Eric! Glad things are working out.
Crystal Green says
We’ve gone through many dogs in our relationship together. We have a puppy now that is becoming quite possessive of me now and is steadily coming between Del and I. It’s rather funny that I would read this post just as I mentioned this issue last night to my husband. (Especially since this dog is supposed to be HIS dog.) This is a great point and one that many people don’t consider to be an issue.
Leslie says
Im not sure what to do anymore. I hate my bfs dog. I cant do anything sometimes with out him growling at me or biting me. And when i try and discipline the dog, my bf starts a fight with me. My bf has had this dog for YEARS and im not the type of person to tell him to get rid of him. I cant sit at the kitchen table without getting bit for moving my feet. And if i try and yell at him the dog tries to bite me more. or then my bf gets pissed at me. I was fixing the sheets, since they were falling off the bed, the dog was laying on the bed so i just pulled the blankets from under him. i dont think i moved him much, but the dog started growling and got up. so i continued fixing the bed, everytime i moved the sheets he looked at me and growled. at one point i was fixing the corner of the bed. The dog then lunges to bite me, ill give him the fact that he didnt bite me but he lunged. so i smacked him on the butt to let him know i didnt like that. which then my bf got PISSED and called me an animal abuser and if i ever touched his dog again he would do the same to me. im tired of his dog and how he defends his dogs actions. the dog pees all over the house and bites multiple people. im ready to just leave the relationship, but i keep thinking there is hope. what should i do?
Stacey Werner says
First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this Leslie! You need to sit down with your boyfriend (away from the dog) and talk about it. Tell him how this all makes you feel. Let him know that you are not asking him to get rid of the dog, but rather you would like to find a way to make things work so that you can all live (without fear) together.
If you have the money, I would definitely recommend contacting a reputable dog trainer. They will be able to explain to both you and your boyfriend why the dog is doing this and how the behavior can be stopped or at the very least controlled or avoided. I wish you luck and hope you will stop back and let us know how it goes.
Lia says
I have a Bichon Maltese from Spain. He is 13 years old and since he was a puppy me and my family teased him so much. Nothing abusing, just fun and play like “chase my foot” or cradle him like a baby. He used to growl and attack and we all laughed. As he got older it became more frequent and we started noticing the kids copying us and realisation hit. He will bite one of our innocent kids one day and he knows no difference. I put a stop to the teasing and told everyone to stop messing and teasing him. He hasn’t changed. He bit my face up a few years ago and i ended up in A&E. I love him so much and blame myself, i have him living with me and my partner and daughter. She isn’t allowed to go near him at all and its sad but i yell at her (shes 2) if she tries to approach him, because of my fear.
My partner knows i will not get rid of him and she tries so hard to support me and even tries to be nice to him. Hes not a bad dog when hes in a good mood and he has gone for my partners feet and arms several times but i will NEVER take his side if he does it. I told her she needs to show him whos boss and discipline him herself. I agree that you tapped his bottom and told him off. im similar to your partner, i find it hard to discipline the dogs as i feel bad for them. But in your case i think somethings got to give.
Tree says
Yes, Susan! THANK YOU.
Olvan says
Everyone seems to be trying to find ways to backflip their way out of dog issues instead of doing the logical thing: getting rid of the dog! At some point the wife or husband needs to realize what is more important, and not to force dog correctional issues on a marriage that may or may not have a lot of time to spare outside of busy schedules. People like to think they are an animal lover and take a false sense of pride in their pet to the detriment of their most important relationship. People like this are imbecilic and as easy to persuade as a wall of stone. Try, for a change, starting over without a pet if it is causing problems. Your marriage is more important, and having a needy pet like a dog needs to be a mutual decision. Make no mistake, if you are using the pet issue as a litmus test for whether your spouse is truly the person you should be with, then you ARE choosing the pet over your spouse. This is the reality, and dog “lovers” need to stop ignoring the reality and focus more on being just plain lovers. This is all the advice you need on the subject, but good luck having anyone follow it.
Lia says
Why should a person get rid of a dog for a new lover?? I have had my dogs for 13 years and my partner, who has issues with my dogs whining, has only been in my life 1 and half years. Your answer is to “get rid of the problem”? I think its a lazy answer. Working on the issue so everybody is happy and compromising should be the answer. One of my dogs was 3 weeks old when we found him barely alive, and i have this needy bond with him that is difficult to break. If he isn’t with me, he gets jealous of my daughter or partners affection and he cries alot. This is something we are aspiring to work on for the sake of our future with HIM completely involved. He is my child in a sense and i think your answer to “getting rid” is completely out of the question. You must not have ever had a bond with an animal if you think its so easy to do!
cody says
sounds like you are the problem and being selfish with your “needy bond”
Real says
And that’s the problem, feeling the need to coddle your animal and what about a wife’s need. You took vows to love your wife for better or for worse not the dog. It wasn’t the dog that bore your children, it’s not the dog who supports you through thick and thin. Rather you been with a person for 6 months or a year point is you vowed to love them above all. Bible says a man should leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife not his dog. An animal is a pet not a human. If it was we as women would be giving birth to dogs. It frustrates me when people turn the face of nature to fit their own selfish inclinations. If a person feels the need to love an animal more than spouse should have never got on one knee and asked her hand in marriage and if she has a father he should take the pleasure of kicking his butt because I am
Sure when he gave away his daughter to a person who really wasn’t ready to love her the way she deserves to be loved should have never asked her hand in marriage. Dogs have their own family’s and I truly believe if you have a male and female dog who bare puppies they certainly would let you come in between their family if they had a choice. God made pets for a purpose not to become a human companion. A woman’s allegiance is to her husband and a man’s allegiance is to his wife. I am not knocking having a “pet” but when a person puts a pet above his wife and family really need to sit down in a chair with a mental health professional to assess what is the deep embedded issue. My advice is for any woman who husband care more about a dog than them …professional help is needed and truly must love yourself enough to not be placed a lower than. Dog when the Bible says he made us a “little” lower than his angels but he crowned us with his “glory”. Woman are human being who should be treated with much more respect in the household and if you can give more respect to a dog then you don’t need a wife. Put an apron on the dog and let them cook for you, let the dog be your everything and leave women alone. We are not men’s dog mats. I would say wake up buddy or you won’t have a wife. And I say wife if you continue to put up with it, you will lose who you are and the man will never respect you in anything if he doesn’t respect you in putting your needs before a dog’s need.
heidi says
Love this advice and insight!! My husband has a dog that is now 15 and truly has been the only thing we have argued about… pees… chews things, gets in trash, you name it… she has done it…9 years ago until now and I have had depression over this dog. I love my husband but truly do not like this dog. I have no choice but to maintain and keep this girl healthy and happy but sometimes in return… I get pee and poop where it shouldn’t be and bad behavior… I have honestly thought of leaving so that my husband doesn’t suffer with my sadness when he gets home and she has done something…. I do not want to hurt him for his ignorance in training before we were together… ughhh..
JL says
I agree with you.
Trip says
I got rid of the husband and am sooooo much happier.
Leanna M. says
So here’s my current situation. i got with my husband march of 2016. and he had a cat at the time. I moved in and there was no big deal. But, fast forward to 3 months later and my husband goes to his ex-wifes parents and gets his dog that was his when they split but he had no where to take it.. Okay, so since it was just his dog apparently, i was able to make somewhat peace with it, but i did not know until i got home from work one day that the dog was over 100lbs. He is a german shepherd, mastiff, and lab mixed. huge. Well we ended up having to leave that residence eventually and moved. after staying at the new place for almost 10 months we came across a lady at a store who was giving away free kittens, my husband loves animals. so i agreed to one, i even picked it out. Also, keep in mind that at this time, i am the only one predominately working and his friend willy who was a grown man was staying with us but wouldnt get a job. so basically i was supporting 2 cats, a huge dog, and 3 adults counting myself, i was only 22 and a full time student as well. Well fast forward a month, and because he kept bugging me for another damn dog, I had promised him back on valentines. Well we went to my parents and they were not able to give their new puppy the attention it needed. So boom, we take the puppy. he is an all white pitbull/boxer mixed. and since animals were allowed at the current resident, i wasnt even thinking about his breed or how big he would get or anything, i was just thinking about how happy it made my husband and i did not take the proper amount of time to even think about it. There were times when we was struggling so bad and barely had any food that we couldnt buy any dog food, my husband would use some of what little we had to make them a meal. well, about 1-2 months later we get rid of the roommate, who was lying and not helping with bills, and then we was basically homeless, mostly because of money issues. so there we was stuck with no where to go. but his grandparents let us move in but the animals were not allowed in the house at all, so they had to stay outside in the backyard. This means that all of the animals were out there. the dogs kind of enjoyed being in the backyard, but in the winter it was sad to no they was out there on the porch. Our cats ended up running away, but we found one who got picked up by the shelter. even though he was our cat, we had to pay to get him back. that happened twice to the same cat and we ended up spending over $90 to get this damn cat back, we were staying with someone trying to move, so we was barely getting by as it was already. but my husband doesnt believe in the system or money or whatever, hes about nature and humans working together to survive or whatever, so he of course was like pay for the cat cuz we love him and money will always come some other time. I had already had a few talks with him about getting rid of them bc of our situation and it was kind of unfair to the animals as well. So it is now exactly 1 year later. we could not find a place to live that was affordable and would allow dogs or their breeds. we had to leave his grandparents, stay with my parents, and then back to his grandparents, and then a friend of mine let us move in temporarily until we found a place. But no dogs still so they remained in his grandparents back yard. So here we have a cat, a grown dog that acts like a baby that cant handle being without his daddy, a puppy who has been raised permanently outside so far, meaning he could just potty whenever and wherever. my husband didnt really believe in training them anyways, he says a puppy needs to be able to live out his puppy years, which in his eyes is until they are 3. this all worried me for whenever we could finally find a place to live.. well my friend kicked us out because my husband broke his ps4 controller, childish, so we had a matter of 1 week to find somewhere to live. Well we took over a mutual friends lease, it is a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment that DOES NOT ALLOW PETS ANYWHERE ON THE PROPERTY WITH NO EXCEPTIONS! So what do we do.. well his granny has been bugging us about taking the dogs out of her yard since we first stayed there.. so.. whats this mean? that we now live in a 1 bedroom, i am 6 months pregnant, and my husbands 3 animals, cuz we never found the original cat, all are staying in this little bitty apartment. the 1 yr old “puppy” has pooped in the floor multiple times and peed a few times. we have to make sure they are quite, sneak them in and out to potty, and we are never really allowed to be alone again because the dogs must come with us… I have expressed to my husband more than 3 times in the past year how i do not like having the animals in my life and they make me stressed and unhappy. Each time ends the same, his heart would break, he WILL NEVER get rid of the dogs, I shouldnt have agreed to the puppy in the first place if i was just going to change my mind in the end, and they aren’t pets they are equal to us, we dont own them, this is their territory to, etc…. So heres one small yet huge detail, we was together for only just over a year before we got married. well approximately almost 6 months prior to us eloping, i contacted an ex in a moment of being scared and worried that my life wasnt where it should be, so i basically cheated. Well it about broke his heart and i had to beg him to stay with me. thats how his first marriage ended, she had cheated on him and it destroyed him and his emotions. So now, i feel like he thinks it doesnt matter how i feel about the dogs because he loves them and i dont deserve to feel some type of way about them… So because i hurt him almost 2 years ago, does that mean that i do not deserve to be happy as well? Or should i just shut u, deal with the animals and how unhappy they make me because i love him? or do i make him get rid of them somehow and let him resent me the rest of our lives? or do i leave? But we do have a baby on the way too… My worry here in the now, besides having to sneak the dogs around and find a way to be able to provide for them as well as ourselves, is where will my husbands priorites be when our daughter is here? Just this morning he took my prufied drinking water, because the sink water here makes me get sick everytime, and was giving it to the dogs.. I asked him to use the faucet since we have to keep buying water or use someones purifier to keep water in the house, and we’ve been running out a lot here recently. and he said the dogs are equal to us, why would they drink the nasty water and not get the good water, they deserve the nice water too. im like yeah but they drink and love the faucet water any other time, their bodies are use to it and we have an unlimited amount of that water. So why take my drinking water, that is for me and the baby and himself, and sacrifice it for his precious dogs? What will he sacrifice whenever she is here…??? IDK what to do.. I absolutley love him, but these animals are driving a wedge into our relationship.. i could go on for days about discipline issues, behavior, etc. all these things that bother me……
Animal lover :79 says
Honestly your husband needs to grow up get a job if he hasnt already especially with a baby on the way. Its great that you have been there to support him while hes looking for work but it was never yoir responsibility to take care of the roommate. So glad yall got rid of him. As far as the animals go I love mine so much and would break my heart to have to get rid of them but if I had a baby coming and could barely afford food for myself I would have to make sure thay went to a good home for the sake of my child. It takes a lot of sacrifice from both parents to make sure a child has a decent life. And your husband chose to stay after you cheated. It is hard getting past someone cheating it literally crushes your soul but you deserve to be happy and if he isnt doing that then you should think about whats best for you and your baby and what you want your future to be and go for it. Life is too short and already hard and can be harder when both parties arent working together to make things a little easier. Sounds like to be young you have a good head on your shoulders its great that ypu went to school to try to have a good financial future for yourself Stick with your goals and never give up. Sounds like you have tried compromising with him about the animals maybe keeping one and see how that goes if yall can find a place that allows pets because yall are jeopardizing your place to live especially with the baby sounds like yall cant afford to lose your place. Sorry went on so long. Hope it helps some and sorry if I was out of line wasnt my intention. Good luck and congradulations on your baby
Debi- The Spring Mount 6 Pack says
We had a cat that got between us. She was bad and hated hubby.
Wilson says
I know, how much you love him or her, who’s paying the bills, or feeding the cat, its time to set him or her down.
Travel Blogger says
Our dog is another excuse to come closer together. We just moved from a single family home with a big yard to an apartment complex with no yard. Our walk with our dog each day allows us to relax, catch up on our day and ge a little exercise.
Stacey Werner says
That is how it is in our household. It is great to take walks together and catch up on the day.
Patranila says
Yeah, this is why I don’t have pets! I require much too much maintenance on my own. LOL
Stacey Werner says
Ha! Love it, Patranila!
Rosey says
I had a boyfriend once a long, long, long time ago who had a dog that went to the bathroom in his place, chewed up everything, was mean to strangers, etc. The dog was a beauty, but it was always something… it was stressful, esp. that last thing. I understand keeping the dog, I’d never ask anyone to give up a pet ever, but the dog was def. a source of contention. And I love dogs!
Stacey Werner says
It really can be tough when the dog has issues. This would be a big strain on any relationship.
Kristen says
Please help me. I use to really love my husband’s dog, but she can be a source of contention between us. She’s very jealous and doesn’t like for him to show affection towards anyone else. She literally will put herself between him and whoever he is showing attention or affection to and will demand he show her attention even though she was sleeping peacefully moments ago on her chair…like she wasnt even aware he was in the room until we hugged or kissed each other. And she barks the whole time we are having sex even tho we close the door. I wouldn’t mind so much if he actually cuddled with me. The last time i received a hug from him that he initiated was 6 months ago when our daughter was born. We never snuggle or cuddle on the couch and he hardly ever puts his arms around me or kisses me. But he often hugs her kisses her and rubs his head against her. But sometimes if i ask for a hug or kiss, he acts irritated with me for wanting it…other times he welcomes my gestures warmly. The point where i REALLY began to resent her is when i was pregnant. Like i said before, he showers her with affection daily, but the one time I asked him to rub ny sore 7month pregnant belly, he asks me to hold on so he could finish his cigarette so i did. A moment later his dog walks into the room and he begins to rub all over her for at least 30 seconds. I was furious and so hurt. I think that was when a deep rooted bitterness began to grow inside me and i resent their relationship badly. Ive brought it up to him a few times before we had the baby and he would always say “wow i can’t believe you’re jealous of my dog.” i explained that jealousy wasnt the issue and he would change and be more affectionate with me for a few days. But then it always goes back to the same ol same ol…so i don’t even say anything anymore but its hurting me very bad inside. But other than this, he is a wonderful husband. I just dont know what to do.
Kim says
Tell him it’s the dog or you. And he’s probably a fool so will pick the dog.
Monique says
Im going through the same thing. Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 years and just this past year we bought a house and can have his dogs live with us, I had concerns because i have asthma and allergies to dogs, it hurt because from the moment we moved in it wasnt us moving in with each other it was him moving in with his dogs. To this day we havent had one night of just him and I alone in bed. He constantly makes time for them, showers them with love and exactly how you ask for a hug or kiss hes annoyed but then turns around and is all over them. Due to allergies and my asthma i constantly ask if the dogs dont sleep in our bed and he disregards it and gets mad with me saying im jealous or that hes not going to change his dogs routine or that he loves sleeping with his dogs and wont stop it. It hurts, expecially because i dont feel like we are affectionate or intimate with one another. I feel stupid having so much anger and resinment over his dogs but i dont know what else to do. I cant just walk away after all this time I do love him but I cant love like this.
Monique says
Ive been with my boyfriend for 7 years and just this past year we bought a house and can have his dogs live with us (before, we lived in an appartment & his dogs lived down the street with his parent’s which he still saw everyday), I had concerns because i have asthma and allergies to dogs. It first started to hurt because from the moment we moved in it wasnt us moving in with each other it was him moving in with his dogs. To this day we havent had one night of just him and I alone in bed. He constantly makes time for them, showers them with love and when i ask for a hug or kiss hes annoyed or quick about it, but then turns around and is all over them. Due to allergies and my asthma i constantly ask if the dogs dont sleep in our bed and he disregards it and gets mad with me saying im jealous or that hes not going to change his dogs routine or that he loves sleeping with his dogs and wont stop it. It hurts, expecially because i dont feel like we are affectionate or intimate with one another. I feel stupid having so much anger and resinment over his dogs but i dont know what else to do. I cant just walk away after all this time I do love him but I cant love like this.
Riz says
I would be gone and my husband knows it. He wouldn’t dare. I love our dog dearly but my spouse comes first above ALL earthly things including my children. If I won’t put my precious human children before my spouse, I surely will not love a dog or any pet more than them. If the pet causes trouble, regrettably I would find a good home for the animal and be mature enough to not resent my spouse because I love them most. People should not get married if they don’t plan on putting them first. Ach! People are so imbalanced and priorities have gone to poop.
chris says
I’ve been a relationship and married to my wife for close to two years before we got together I had a cat and very beautiful Himalayan cat and she is not a cat lover at all she loves dogs and dogs only period but because she has a Doberman Pinscher who would usually devour my cat I had to give my cat to my mother so we’ll have a safe home because I wanted to make it work with my wife during the last two years the dog has attacked one of my friends came into the house when she tried to hug my wife hit her in the face cause 16 stitches in the inside of my mouth and ate on the outside. This lady was very gracious and accept it what happened because she was wearing a poncho the excuse that my wife gave her her dog behavior. since then the dog does not have any discipline I don’t like to talk all over the furniture he’s almost 90 pounds I don’t want to go over my bed I never allowed my cat’s to be all over my furniture and in my bed that’s just how I am. I made all the sacrifices I possibly could so my wife could have her dog. It does not listen it begs at the table she constantly feeds at the table period I try to sit down and have a peaceful meal I have to put up with a dog when it’s not on the table whining at me I don’t find it I find it annoying. from at least a half hour before we wake up and get out of bed to the door and whining she gets on him I have to keep getting up and letting them out and putting him outat least a dozen times a day walking in better weather not snowingme run him in a field. we live in a two-bedroom trailer home if my wife is in the master bathroom taking a shower and I walk into the bedroom to go to my bed stand to get my glasses the dog stands by the bed growls and aggressive at me as I walk into my room. If I say anything to my wife are you almost ready or anything like thatthe dog will bark and lunch at me and usually bites me in the hand or the arm and my wife sees nothing wrong with it. I didn’t ask her to get rid of her dog because I know she never would and I wouldn’t ask her to I chose to leave because I can’t live in a home where I’m always under duress and under stress because she doesn’t animal she cannot discipline it will not make mind. The dog mess is all over the floor it becomes my fault because I didn’t take him out that one extra time out of 12 times a day period I didn’t sign on to being a dog owner I was already a cat owner who had to give up his animal. I made all the sacrifices. had a really get angry inside when I had people say to me that the animals are better characters or judgement of characters that humans anybody who says that to me is an imbecile if you cannot understand the value of human life and the average person is not always bad and I’ll take a dog as a judge of anything a dog is first and foremost a beast just like any other animal any will take care of itself in its own before it will take care of you. I get the Loyalty peace but if you can find somebody more loyal than your wife or your husband maybe you should look at them to pay the rent
katrina g says
very interesting. i don’t think my dog is as the whole family loves him. He’s ab big boy (110 pounds) but he’s part of the family.
Dawn McAlexander says
Luckily for us, our dogs don’t chew on things. And they sleep with us and we both like how warm and snuggly they are so we all get along pretty good. 🙂
Felissa @ Two Little Cavaliers says
It’s definitely important to get bad behavior in check – whether it is the dog’s or your partners. No one wants to be put in the position of making a choice.
Kandi says
Luckily we both love our pup. She is one of the kids to us. But she acts like a mom to my kids. She wakes them up in the mornings for me and is really protective of them.
Michele says
My dogs liked to sleep at the end of the bed so there was no problems–but there was one guy and he did not last too long–sorry but when your dog has to go out (and he really did) you just gotta get up and take him out–besides my dogs were always better judges of character then I am!! So is my cat for that matter!!
Wilson says
Lord’s help us, God created animals for canpanions not your second wife or husband, animals aren’t going to share you with their male or female relationship, when it comes to that, they will let you know that, , watch the male behavior when he’s with a female, so, why are human being, so , fools and allow this to happen to them, God didn’t design this to happen, , he’s against this behavior.
Kristen says
I dont quite understand what you are saying.
Melissa says
I totally agree with you I am having that problem with my husband and the dog, even sleep in the other room with the dog rather then with me.
Sharon says
I have the same problem. I am divorced but moved back with my ex 10 months ago. Our dog that I got him 5 years ago usually sleeps with my stepson but when he sleeps out comes home late or goes away I have to sleep alone it’s a joke. He sleeps down stairs on the couch and thinks nothing of it. I’m getting sick of this. I didn’t move back here to sleep alone.
paige ieJul says
My husband puts the dog between us. She has to be on the bed during umhum. And he always Google’s ways to make your dog the happiest dog in the world. Um hello what about your wife you’ve forgotten birthday and Christmas the last two years. He even kisses it good morning and cuddles
her before he will even roll over to look at me!
jemma says
I no how u fell my parner sleeps on the sofa ever night with the dog and not with me he thinks there nothing wrong with it
Christina says
I am sleeping in the upstairs bedroom for past 3 months. He comes home kisses dog, plays then says hi to me and Pats my head, calls me pumpkin (same as the dog). I’ve golfs him im a human, not a dog. He also spends 70 min a morning having “time” with dog before work. I must stay in bed . I tried being up but was ignored. He takes dog on long rides because the dog likes it. I have allergies and ask him to try to keep the dog dander out of bedroom etc. He will lay in floor and get up covered in hair a d dander and then tell me to take my meds and deal with it. I can’t get in his car or I’ll have an allergic reaction to the dander. He doesn’t new years eve with dog, kissed dog at midnight. He sits in a urine soaked dog chair with dog and watches TV all weekend. He then has a routine to put dog to bed at night. Takes 3 min. I closes a kiss. I dont get a kiss goodnight or goodbye. I have expressed that I would like time to just hang out dogless. He gets mad. The dog will not let up watch TV. Talk or sit on couch without getting in middle. This the leads to him playing with dog and ignoring me. I just get up and go to my room. He rarely notices I’m gone. The dog seems to be the head of house. Talking to him gets nowhere as I am just o overreacting and need help. I’m glad to see, or sad to see others go through this.
Angie says
I agree!!!!
Olivia says
OmGosh!!!! I freaking LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
People are soooo delusional! Like 100%! Freaking weirdos! I get a dog being a helper and a friend . But to replace actual human relationships??? Like a husband or wife?? That’s beyond freaking weird! And actually beyond strange. I know some soldiers get the PTSD dogs and that’s cool but again? It’s not a wife! Or husband! They are not there for that type of companionship. PERIOD. Ugh. Get some help, get involved in some social groups that paint or sew or dance or golf or read books or something but don’t close yourself off from society just you and your dog.. they are not human beings, no matter how hard people try to make that a reality.. I mean really
Moonberrysad says
Well they will want to uhhumm with you but after that they give all their attention and affection back to the dog. Males me feel worse than an on call long-term prostitute instead of a marriage. They keep giving small talks and sweet talk to the dog after a while I thought those words are for me until my replies has no response and I knew those small sweet talks baby nicknames are for that Dog…. Sometimes I feel divorce is the best way.
Lisa Weidknecht says
Lucky for my husband, the dog sleeps on the floor. Hubby is still my cuddler! Thanks for joining my It’s a Wonderful Life Planet Weidknecht Weekend Hop!