Newlywed Survival

Surviving the first few years of marriage.

Should you merge your bank accounts after marriage?

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Should you combine bank accounts after marriage? Or should you keep things separate?

This is a tough question that will probably yield many different responses depending on who you ask. When my husband and I got married, I felt that we should combine our money into joint accounts. My husband wasn’t so sure. He wanted to have some privacy in his spending, and I could understand that need. So, I started researching what the options are and how we should go about moving forward.

Keep accounts separate

One option is to leave things the way you have them. It would obviously be easier because you wouldn’t have to go through the paperwork and phone calls involved in combining your accounts. It also allows you to have more privacy…you can spend money the way you would like to without feeling like your partner is judging.

Things to think about:

It may make it more difficult when it comes to paying bills. Who pays the rent/mortgage? Do you cut all the bills in half and each make a payment?

Combine all accounts

Having one savings and one checking account with both of your names on it will make it easier to pay for joint bills like utilities and mortgage and to save for your future. It also lends itself to the “what’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine” mentality.

Things to think about:

Will you feel like you have to justify every purchase with your partner? Do you feel the need for privacy in your spending habits?

Have one joint account and separate personal accounts

This option gives you the best of both options above while avoiding some of the not so good things. You could have one joint checking account that pays for all of your joint bills. You each have your own separate accounts that you use for spending money. This gives you privacy while allowing you to make bill paying easier.

Things to think about:

This option has some difficulties. How do you decide how much of your paychecks go into the joint account? Should it be a 50/50 split? What if one person makes a lot more money than the other? Does the person with less earnings get less spending money? What if only one of you works full time, or one of you doesn’t work at all? These can be some tough obstacles.

Our decision

So, after researching the options, my husband and I decided to have a joint checking account, a joint savings account and each have our own separate checking accounts for spending. This lasted about 6 months before I decided that it was much easier for me to just use the joint checking account. I handle paying the bills with the exception of one of my husband’s credit cards. He pays for that card out of his personal account. This gives him the privacy he was seeking and makes bill paying easy for everyone me. This has been working very well for us…we rarely get into heated discussions about money and spending habits.

Did you and your spouse combine bank accounts after marriage? What option has worked for you? Let us know in the comments!

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Comments

  1. Stacey, Great post!! My husband and I got married about four months ago and merged everything together. It was actually much easier for us to manage our bills and savings by doing this. We're also working Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University program and this is something he recommends for marrieds as well. I have to say, the money stuff can really be an emotionally stressful topic. I feel very blessed that my shuband and I are actively working together on the same plan to prepare for our future.

    • Thank you Annie. It is funny you should mention Dave Ramsey...I have started using a part of his program over the past two weeks. I will be writing a post about how it is working for me soon.

  3. What struck me in this post is your comment, "He wanted to have some privacy in his spending, and I could understand that need." There is no need for privacy with regard to spending between spouses unless there is something to hide. This sets the stage for secrecy in other areas and ultimate failure.

    • I agree to a point. The only things that he wants to keep private are gifts for me. I have access to his accounts and can look to see what he is spending, but I choose not to. I don't want to know how much he spent on my birthday or Christmas present, and I wouldn't want him to know either. In some relationships, the need for secrecy in spending can lead to deeper issues. However, we are comfortable with how things are.

  4. My husband and I keep our bank and savings accounts separate but not for privacy it's for our sanity. We have opposite spending habits and if we combined accounts we'd constantly be fighting because one of us would be too controlling with the money and the other would be too free with the money. We both pay bills and this works perfectly for us because we get paid on opposite weeks. So we just pay the little bills as they come and spilt the house payment. We rarely fight over finances because we both know that we will always support eachother. So it really doesn't matter who makes what money or who pays what bills because what is his is mine and what is mine is his. Shawntae R

    • This sounds great, Shawntae! I think that each couple will be able to work out what is best for them as long as they talk about it! Communication is key. Thanks for stopping by!

  5. We started out with our own, but opened an account together because we both started our new jobs right after we married. It worked out well and now we have two joint accounts...lol.

  6. We combined ours. What's his is ours and what's mine is mine. LOL

  7. We have a joint checking account, which I maintain. My husband has a personal checking account because he was concerned about not having "privacy" when it comes to purchasing gifts and such. It's worked for us for almost eight years.

  8. We have a joint savings account and separate accounts and it works fine for us. Since had our own accounts before marriage, we kept those separate.

  9. This was nearly the cause of a panic attack for me! I hate signing up with banks as it is, and the idea of "giving up" my financial independence was over the top. We took baby steps along the way and now are pretty well merged

  10. My husband and I both have our separate accounts still, but a few years into our marriage, we added a debit card for each other on our separate accounts.

  11. Finances can definitely cause big problems in a marriage. This is definitely something that deserves a lot of discussion before a decision is made.

  12. I'm sure everyone has at least heard a horror story about bad behavior with joint accounts. Before we were married the priest had us discuss this very topic. It was quite revealing (mostly that my ex was extremely controlling and distrustful when if came to $$$...love doesn't change this behavior in case anyone was wondering) Be that as it may, we decided to have joint accounts. It was a bad decision. I had to justify every purchase I made and the fact that I brought student loan debt into the marriage was an issue when we divorced. Every couple is different and finances need to be discussed. Based on my experience when asked I strongly encourage the use of a joint account(s) with separate personal accounts and recommend a proportional method of funding the joint accounts (ie if one spouse makes 60% of the joint income, s/he funds 60% of the bills).

  14. We've had a joint account since we were married almost 20 years ago. I do most of the bill paying. Since I have a small business, I do have a separate account for it. However, hubby is listed on it so that if anything happens to me he has full access.

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