Marital life is not for the faint of heart for sure. Successful marriages require a whole lot of compromise and forgiveness. No one is perfect. And sometimes it’s tough to try to see things from your partner’s point of view. Many marriages have been saved by marriage counseling, because the therapist holds an unbiased opinion. Do you need to go to counseling just because you’re sick of picking up dirty socks? Probably not. Here are a few examples of when to call in the big guns.
You think your marriage is in trouble.
If you have thought about getting a divorce, or fear your spouse wants a divorce, you probably need counseling. That fear in itself can put a strain on your relationship, and cause you to act differently than you normally would, making the problem even worse.
You don’t enjoy each other’s company.
If you used to look forward to your spouse coming home from work and now you dread it, this is a big problem. Wanting to be away from someone is the exact opposite of the purpose of marriage.
The things you used to love about your spouse are now things that you dislike.
For example, if the two of you used to relax in the evenings with a little healthy video gaming competition and now you’re just annoyed by the fact that he wants to play, that’s not a good sign. Having different interests is good, but disliking everything your spouse does isn’t.
You don’t trust each other.
A relationship will fail without trust. If you spend every minute second guessing your partner, they will start to resent you. And you will start to resent yourself.
You have major financial difficulties.
This one doesn’t sound like a marital issue, but the truth is that financial difficulties are one of the top reasons marriages end. Money problems spill over into every area of your life, and they can ruin your relationship quicker than most other stresses.
There are many reasons that marriage counselors can help – these are only a few. Trust your gut. If you think you need help, and are asking yourself “Do we need a marriage counselor?” then you should call one. Remember, also, that marriage counseling comes in a few different forms – weekend therapy sessions, weekly counseling, and even individual counseling for each of you. You entered the commitment of marriage because you thought your relationship was something that could stand the test of time. Make sure to put up a good fight for it. It’s worth it.
Have you thought of seeing a marriage counselor?