It’s great to have a best friend to share things with – someone to tell you when you’re right, someone to tell you when you’re wrong, and someone to tell you you’re overreacting. It’s great to be able to vent about your husband’s inability to put the toilet seat down no matter how much you complain. Some things, though, shouldn’t be shared, no matter how close your relationship with your friend. Here are 4 things about your marriage you shouldn’t share with your friends.
- Your household income. While it’s perfectly fine to say that your husband has been promoted to a higher position, it’s not okay to say that he got $6 an hour more. You may not think it’s a big deal, but your husband probably doesn’t want your friend (and her husband) to know that he’s still not making 6 figures a year. Or maybe he is. If your friends start thinking you’re wealthy, they may look at you differently than they did before.
- Your debt. Just like salary, this is something that is best kept private. Even your best friend might think differently of you when you tell her that you can barely pay your second mortgage. It’s human nature to want to help, and she’ll start thinking about all the Coach bags you buy and how you could better budget your paychecks. All of a sudden, you’re irresponsible in her eyes.
- Sexy fun. What happens in the bedroom or living room or kitchen 😉 should remain between the two of you. If you tell your friends about his fantasies or escapades, they’ll never look at him the same again. We’re not in high school, and such things are best left unsaid. Better not to kiss and tell.
- Fights. Every couple fights. If you have an argument about something silly, like whether you watch Breaking Bad or Walking Dead, you can share. If that argument escalates to a war about how your husband’s mother is so revolting to you that she reminds you of a zombie (and sometimes things like that do happen), keep it to yourself. Again, friends want to help, and the next Memorial Day party isn’t going to be so much fun if your best friend is giving mommy dearest the evil eye the entire time.
The best rule to follow here is that if you wouldn’t want him talking about it with his best friend, you shouldn’t be talking about it to yours. Next time you want to share, think about how you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
What things in your marriage do you feel should remain just between the two of you?