Sex—this can be both the better and worse part of marriage all by itself. When things are going well, life in the bedroom is good. When there is trouble, however, the bedroom is anything but paradise.
Keeping the romance and excitement alive is important if you want to keep your marriage strong. Paying attention to it is even more necessary. Here are some ways to make that happen:
8. Go to bed together
While this may seem obvious, make a habit of going to bed at the same time as your partner. It’s hard to create the opportunity for intimacy if you aren’t in the same place at the same time. If one of you has an early bedtime and the other prefers to stay up late, still plan some overlap time. The early bird can go to sleep and the night owl can get up and spend some quiet time alone.
Keep your bedroom free of work or other intrusive elements (TV, pets, etc.) Use this time to really talk to each other, but not to fight. Don’t bring up difficult or upsetting issues. Instead, take advantage of the quiet downtime to reconnect with your partner.
Creating a nighttime routine with your partner provides the opportunity for physical intimacy. Having uninterrupted, regular time alone with each other allows for playful touching, cuddling, or any other physical contact you and your partner enjoy. Making this a regular part of your relationship will keep you connected.
9. Focus on your partner
When you were first together, you thought a lot about what would make your partner happy. Continue to learn about what makes them feel loved, safe and secure and find ways to provide it. Relationships are reciprocal. How you make your partner feel will come back to you.
Make time to really listen to your partner. Don’t assume you know what he or she is going to say. Most of us just want to feel heard. You don’t have to agree with your partner, but giving them the opportunity to share their thoughts and feelings will make them feel more connected with you.
Let your partner know every day how important they are to you and how glad you are to have them in your life. Make them feel like a priority. It’s a fine line between counting on your partner to be there and taking them for granted. Don’t cross that line.
10. Put your marriage first
It’s very easy in this day and age to focus on the squeaky wheel. Work, children, household chores are constants and it’s easy to put the marriage on the back burner and get to it “when there’s time”. The common phrases, “We’ve grown apart” or “I’m not in love with my partner anymore” are outcomes of not paying attention to the relationship.
Stu Gray of The Marriage Blogger presents a great visual from a couple’s wedding day. Think of the tiers on a wedding cake and who is on the top tier: the bride and groom, of course. They stand alone on the top of the cake. Everyone else in their lives is on the supporting tiers.
A similar concept is the vow to forsake all others. This means your children, mother, best friend and poker buddies. The two of you get to decide who is in your life and under what circumstances. By making those decisions together and enforcing them, you make your relationship a priority.
Taking the time and making the effort to nurture the marriage will reward you in the end. Following these tips will give you a blueprint to guide you to your happily ever after.
— Newlywed Survival (@NewlywedSurvive) June 28, 2012